Thursday, February 24, 2011

Agents of Chaos: Shuteye Portion Control

Gypsy's effective strategy for denying me sleep:
  1. Pull off the velcro straps off my face hugger (CPAP mask).
  2. Try to rip off the towel I've wrapped around my head to keep her from pulling off the velcro straps of my face hugger.
  3. Drop straws on me and pounce at them with unsheathed claws.
  4. Turn on my clock radio to fake me out of bed an hour early.
No wonder I'm sleep-deprived.

To top it off, while I was making coffee, Gypsy kicked a glass fruit bowl off the counter. I managed to catch it before it fell but I spilled coffee beans all over the floor in the process.

Gypsy really does enjoy life.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Cats (::Sigh::)

My two new kittens, Ginny and Gypsy, are Manx cats, meaning that they have a genetic mutation that gave them short tails. Actually, Ginny is a "stumpy" with a small nub of a tail and Gypsy is a "rumpy" with no tail at all. The mutation is a dominant trait and two Manx cats should never be allowed to mate because the offspring would be likely to die.

As it turns out, Gypsy has a very slight problem with fecal incontinence. I understand this is not uncommon among completely tailless cats. I'm very lucky that she doesn't have a serious problem due to her shortened spine. She's happy, energetic, and extremely intelligent. Now that I know she has the incontinence problem, I'll take her to the vet next week to have her condition assessed and see if she can be helped in any way.

 Gypsy - The Sweetie Pie

Meanwhile, Ginny is turning into a little brick. She feels like she weighs 15 or 16 pounds already. She's very loving but doesn't understand how powerful she is. Ginny sees featherweight Gypsy jump onto my shoulder and she decides to give it a try herself. This usually results in a near miss and her digging her claws into my back to keep from falling. Oh, the pain, the pain!

My other cat, Lucy, has developed an unusual phobia. In the evenings while I'm playing World of Warcraft, I keep the door closed because the kittens climb all over the monitor trying to interact with the game. Lucy is allowed to stay if she wishes since she's much more calm. She usually steals my good chair and either sleeps or asks for cat treats. If I give her crunchy cat treats, she'll eat 'em up. If I try to give her a soft cat treat, she leaps off the chair and asks to be let out of the room.

 Lucy - The Nervous Cat

The reason for Lucy's reaction is the kittens' obsession with the soft treats. They're indifferent to the crunchy treats but gobble up the soft ones with barely a chew. I ran out of crunchy treats a few days ago so I tried to give Lucy one of the soft ones. Ginny leapt onto the chair and snapped up the treat. So now, even if Lucy is the only cat in the room, she associates the soft treats with being "assaulted" by a kitten.

Monday, February 21, 2011

My World of Warcraft Characters: Whassup!

Biroc, Level 55 Holy Paladin

My paladin has been advancing like gangbusters. Last night he completed the final quest in the Burning Steppes. That was a nice zone for him because of the abundance of mithril. By dumb luck, I discovered that you can "mine" dead Obsidian Elementals. That yielded some Deeprock Salt that Megarid (my hunter) can use to cure thick hides. He's been turning the mithril into plate armor that sells well at the Auction House. He had the good fortune to pick up an epic one-handed mace as a drop. This allowed him to sell his two-handed weapon, keep the same damage rate, and carry a nice shield to boot. He's currently questing in the Swamp of Sorrows.

Although mining and blacksmithing have been profitable, Biroc is at the point where he needs to mine and work thorium in order to advance. Apparently, thorium is more rare in the post-Cataclysm world. My plan is to get him to level 60 and then set out for one of the dangerous zones that are said to have thorium.

Biroc got his first (and possibly only) Honorable Kill last night. I have always turned down duel requests and I've only been attacked one other time (it was a draw). Last night, Biroc stepped into Stormwind City right in the middle of a Horde raid. I felt honor-bound to help defend, so I targeted the nearest enemy and started casting exorcisms. I was killed a couple of times but somewhere along the way I apparently bested one of my foes. Whatever. I prefer to play against the environment.

Megarid, Level 50 Beast Mastery Hunter

Although my hunter is lethal at range, I've learned how difficult it is to play him in buildings without long hallways. The quests in Tyr's Hand, Eastern Plagueland, were tricky at times. Fortunately, his level 49 pet gorilla, "Mitchell", is excellent in a melee. On a whim, I had him step into the Stratholme dungeon by himself. He and Mitchell were obliterated pretty quickly. I think I'd need a party of 5 good players to have a chance of staying alive there.

Having reached level 50, Megarid is eligible for a third pet (his second pet is a stealthing tiger named "Debbie"). There are some pretty mean critters in the Burning Steppes--I'm sure that's where he'll go to choose a new pet. I wonder if the Obsidian Elementals can be tamed? Their ability to reflect magic would be very helpful.

Debbie

 Mitchell

 Obsidian Elemental

Megarid's professions of skinning and leatherworking have been fairly profitable. I'm hoping that the beasts in the Burning Steppes will yield Rugged Leather, which is what Megarid needs to advance.

Diabolik, Level 48 Subtlety Rogue

Playing solo as a rogue is a lot of fun but there are some definite disadvantages. The fun part is that you often have to use a well-planned serious of moves to accomplish quests that other classes would blow through using brute force. For example, to kill a couple of guards standing side-by-side, I stealthed, sapped one of the guards unconscious, then killed the other guard before returning to the sapped foe. If Diabolik is double- or triple-teamed, she usually has to use a burst of speed to try to escape and recover.

The main disadvantage is that my rogue is dirt poor. Since she normally slips past guards unseen when possible, she doesn't gather as much loot as someone who fights his way in killing everything in his way. Also, her chosen professions of herbalism and alchemy have not been hugely profitable. I may not spend much time trying to advance her past level 50 or so.

Plans For The Future

Since I'm basically a solo PvE player, I'm sort of creating a virtual guild of alts. My blacksmith and leatherworker are very helpful to each other as a variety of materials are needed to create many items. I believe my next step will be to create a healer with professions chosen from enchanting, inscription, and jewelry. I enjoy selling items at the Auction House, but I'd hate to depend on buying items like glyphs. I'm thinking of making him a Draenei since there are many low-level quests in Kalimdor that I've never done (all my characters have "grown up" in the Eastern Kingdoms).

MST3K Episode Availability



.
Ep.TitleDAP DVDDAP VCDDVD SetStand-
alone DVD
.
K00The Green Slime
.
K01Invaders From The Deep
.
K02Revenge Of The Mysterians
.
K03Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2
.
K04Gamera vs. Barugonx
.
K05Gamerax
.
K06Gamera vs. Gaosx
.
K07Gamera vs. Zigrax
.
K08Gamera vs. Guironx
.
K09Phase IVx
.
K10Cosmic Princessx
.
K11Humanoid Womenx
.
K12Fugitive Alienx
.
K13SST Death Flightx
.
K14Mighty Jackx
.
K15Superdomex
.
K16City On Firex
.
K17Time Of The Apesx
.
K18The Million Eyes Of Sumurux
.
K19Hangar 18x
.
K20The Last Chasex
.
K21Legend Of The Dinosaurx
.
101The Crawling Eyen [1]x17
.
102The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy15
.
103Mad Monster14
.
104Women Of The Prehistoric Planet9
.
105The Corpse Vanishesxx16
.
106The Crawling Handx
.
107Robot Monsterxx19
.
108The Slime Peoplex
.
109Project Moonbasexx20
.
110Robot Holocaustx
.
111Moon Zero Twox
.
112Untamed Youthx
.
113The Black Scorpionx
.
201Rocketship X-M?x
.
202The Sidehackers3
.
203Jungle Goddessnx
.
204Catalina Caper1
.
205Rocket Attack USAx
.
206The Ring Of Terror11
.
207Wild Rebels9
.
208Lost Continentxx18
.
209The Hellcatsx
.
210King Dinosaurnx23
.
211First Spaceship On Venus20th Anniv
.
212Godzilla vs. Megalon?x10
.
213Godzilla vs. The Sea Monsterxx
.
301Cave Dwellers2
.
302Gameraxx21
.
303Pod People2
.
304Gamera vs. Barugonnx21
.
305Stranded In Spacex
.
306Time Of The Apesx22
.
307Daddy-O With short: Alphabet Anticsxx
.
308Gamera vs. Gaosx21
.
309The Amazing Colossal Manx
.
310Fugitive Alienxx
.
311It Conquered The Worldx
.
312Gamera vs. Guironx21
.
313Earth vs. The Spiderx
.
314Mighty Jackx22
.
315Teenage Cavemanx
.
316Gamera vs. Zigraxx21
.
317Viking Women vs. The Sea Serpentxx
.
318Star Force - Fugitive Alien IIxx
.
319War Of The Colossal Beastxx
.
320The Unearthly3
.
321Santa Claus Conquers The MartiansEssentials
.
322Master Ninja Ixx
.
323The Castle Of Fu-Manchux23
.
324Master Ninja IIxx
.
401Space Travelersxx
.
402The Giant Gila Monster10.2x
.
403City Limitsxx
.
404Teenagers From Outer Space6
.
405Being From Another Planetx
.
406Attack Of The Giant Leeches6
.
407The Killer Shrews7
.
408Hercules Unchained7
.
409The Indestructible Man11
.
410Hercules Against The Moon Men7
.
411The Magic Swordxx
.
412Hercules And The Captive Womenx
.
413Manhunt In Spacen14
.
414Tormentedn11
.
415The Beatniksxx17
.
416Fire Maidens Of Outer Spacexx
.
417Crash Of The Moonsxx18
.
418Attack Of The The Eye Creaturesxx
.
419The Rebel Set12
.
420The Human Duplicatorsxx
.
421Monster A-Go-Go8
.
422The Day The Earth Frozexx
.
423Bride Of The Monsterxx19
.
424Manos: The Hands Of FateEssentialsx
.
501Warrior Of The Lost Worldxx16
.
502Herculesx
.
503Swamp Diamonds10, 10.2
.
504Secret Agent Super Dragonn12
.
505Magic Voyage Of Sinbadxx20
.
506Eegah!x
.
507I Accuse My Parentsx
.
508Operation Double 007xx
.
509Girl In Lover's Lanen15
.
510The Painted Hillsxx
.
511Gunslinger6
.
512Mitchellx
.
513The Brain That Wouldn't Diex
.
514Teen-Age Strangler10, 10.2
.
515Wild, Wild World Of Batwomanx
.
516Alien From L.A.nx
.
517The Beginning Of The Endx
.
518The Atomic Brain3
.
519Outlaw (Of Gor)x
.
520Radar Secret Servicex
.
521Santa Clausxx16
.
522Teen-Age Crime Wavex
.
523Village Of The Giantsxx
.
52412 To The Moonnx
.
601Girls Townxx
.
602Invasion U.S.A.nx
.
603The Dead Talk Backn8
.
604Zombie Nightmaren15
.
605Colossus And The Headhuntersxx
.
606The Creeping Terror1
.
607Bloodlust1
.
608Code Name: Diamond Headxx23
.
609The Sky Divers1
.
610The Violent Yearsx22
.
611Last Of The Wild Horsesxx23
.
612The Starfightersn12
.
613The Sinister Urge9
.
614San Francisco Internationalx
.
615Kitten With A Whipxx
.
616Racket Girls15
.
617The Sword And The Dragonx
.
618High School Big Shotx
.
619Red Zone Cubax
.
620Danger! Death Rayxx
.
621The Beast Of Yucca Flatsx18
.
622Angels' Revenge2
.
623The Amazing Transparent Mannx
.
624Samson vs. The Vampire Womenxx
.
701Night Of The Blood Beastxx16
.
701/TDNight Of The Blood Beastx16
.
702The Brute Manxx22
.
703Deathstalker And The Warriors From Hellxx
.
704The Incredible Melting Manxx
.
705Escape 2000xx
.
706Laserblastn20th Anniv
.
801Revenge Of The Creaturexx
.
802The Leech Womanxx
.
803The Mole Peoplexx
.
804The Deadly Mantisxx
.
805The Thing That Couldn't Diexx
.
806The Undeadxx
.
807Terror From The Year 5000xx
.
808The She Creaturexx
.
809I Was A Teenage Werewolfxx
.
810The Giant Spider Invasion10, 10.2
.
811Parts: The Clonus Horrorn12
.
812The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies9x
.
813Jack Frostxx18
.
814Riding With Deathxx
.
815Agent For H.A.R.M.xx
.
816Prince Of Space7
.
817Horror Of Party Beachxx
.
818Devil Dollxx19
.
819Invasion Of The Neptune Menxx
.
820Space Mutiny4
.
821Time Chasers5
.
822Overdrawn At The Memory Bank4
.
901The Projected Manxx
.
902Phantom Planet8
.
903Puma Manxx
.
904Werewolfn20th Anniv
.
905The Deadly Beesxx
.
906The Space Childrenxx
.
907Hobgoblins8
.
908The Touch Of Satan5
.
909Gorgoxx
.
910The Final Sacrificexx17
.
911Devil Fishxx19
.
912The Screaming Skullxx
.
913Quest Of The Delta Knightsxx
.
1001Soultakern14
.
1002The Girl In Gold Boots@4
.
1003Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders5
.
1004Future Warn20th Anniv
.
1005Blood Waters Of Dr. Zxx17
.
1006Boggy Creek II5
.
1007Track Of The Moon Beastxx
.
1008Final Justice14
.
1009Hamlet4
.
1010It Lives By Nightxx
.
1011Horrors Of Spider Islandn11
.
1012Squirmxx
.
1013Diabolikxx
[1] n = "No Longer Available"
Please comment with any corrections!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My OCD Breakfast

I can't believe I'm posting this. You should skip it. Or, if you want, read the next paragraph and the last paragraph. You'll be glad you did.

The issue is (and I deliberately use the word "issue" rather than "problem"--"issue" and "problem" are not the same things) that I apparently have a limited scope type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. To illustrate the typical manifestation of this quirk, I'll describe the breakfast I made for myself this morning.

Late last night, I charged my coffee pot with 3 cups of water and 3 measures of freshly ground coffee (2 measures Colombian and 1 measure Decaf House Roast, both by Starbucks). Early this morning, I was feeling miserable enough that I sent an email to my bosses saying I was taking a sick day. After taking some meds and resting in bed for a few hours with a heating pad under my neck, I felt good enough to make myself breakfast. First order of business was to add 2 more cups of water and 2 more measures of Colombian coffee to the pot. I turned this on to brew as I started work on the rest of the meal.

My main obsession with cooking a multi-dish meal of any kind is to have every dish ready and at the proper temperature at serving time. I'm sometimes nearly paralyzed by the number of choices available to me in the pursuit of this goal. (This is, incidentally, why I normally make one-pot meals.) No matter how many times I make breakfast, I'm still uncertain about the order in which I should perform the many little steps involved.

This morning, I put a small and a large skillet on the stove. I put a small amount of olive oil in the small skillet and a slightly larger amount of peanut oil in the large skillet. On a scale of 0-9, I set both burners on 4. As the oil was heating, I combined 3/4 cups cold water with 1/4 cup grits, a pinch of salt, and 1 tablespoon butter. Grits are tricky because right after they cook, they're thin and too hot to eat. They had to be stirred and set aside to cool. I was going to have to attack the "ideal temperature" from both sides. I removed two eggs from the refrigerator and placed them, intact, in a wide bowl. I once made the mistake of placing an egg directly on the counter. I turned my back for only a moment and Gypsy had shoved the egg onto the floor.

I added frozen hash browns to the large skillet. There were a few frozen lumps in the potatoes. I took the 1/4 cup metal measuring cup (used with the grits a moment ago) and tapped gently on the lumps to break them up. I turned the potatoes a few times so they were coated with peanut oil on all sides then I smoothed them out to a single layer, making a half circle against the far side of the skillet. The stove is slightly off-level and the oil would favor the far side of the skillet to the near side. Also important to note is that I reused the metal measuring cup rather than dirty a second utensil. Another point of obsession with me is finding the most economical solution to any challenge. Why spend time washing two utensils when there existed a strategy that would require you to wash only one?

I covered the large skillet and moved on to the sausage. I was at the end of the package so, rather than slice off two patties, I just slit the sides of the plastic wrapper and worked the sausage as a handful of ground meat. Avoidance of waste is the third leg of my OCD table. I spent nearly a minute teasing out every speck of sausage from the plastic wrapper. The end of the wrapper has all those creases which hide perfectly good bits of food. As I always tell myself, it's food now but if you don't use it, it's garbage. I formed a patty of half the meat and placed it in the small skillet. Panic: the sizzle was too loud. I needed to turn down the heat and I needed to flip the sausage over. Which should I do first? Which order would be most effective? I don't even remember the choice I made. This is the kind of thing that ties me up in knots while cooking. And the fact that I don't remember how I reacted means that, next time the situation occurs, I will again be caught without a plan. When the immediate crisis had been handled, I formed and added the second sausage patty to the skillet. I flipped both over a couple of times to make sure there would be no sticking and I loosely covered the skillet. I put the grits in the microwave, set the timer to 5 minutes on high, and the first phase of cooking was done.

I had a couple of peril-free minutes to myself before the next phase began. I put a dash of soy cream in a mug and poured myself a half mug of coffee. I always have to consider whether it's more efficient to take my cup to the coffee pot or bring the coffee pot to my cup on the counter. In this case, I decided to take my cup to the pot since I wanted the remaining coffee to stay on the heating element. Of course that meant that I would not immediately remove the coffee grounds from above the coffee. Immediate removal is advised in the coffee maker's instructions. I was going to try not to let that bother me.

Let me just say that, if you're still reading this post, you probably have OCD, too. And, if you've recently watched the MST3K treatment of "War of the Colossal Beast", the line "Spare us nothing, Bert I. Gordon!" has no doubt already come to mind.

Now to prepare the eggs. How to crack the eggs? I've always cracked eggs by striking them against the edge of the counter. A couple years ago, though, I heard on "The Splendid Table" that the correct way to crack an egg was to strike them with a table knife. I've tried that a few times and never had much success, but I always feel guilty about cracking eggs in the "wrong" way. With a mental sigh, I cracked the two eggs against the edge of the counter. I added a pinch of salt, a healthy sprinkle of black pepper, a half dozen dashes of chipotle Tabasco sauce, and about a tablespoon of cold water. I mixed with a fork (which I carefully scraped clean so no egg would be wasted!).

With the eggs prepped, I turned the hash browns. I've learned that they're very easy to overcook, so I have to keep my wits about me and not neglect them. Then I turned the sausage patties one last time, pushed them to the near side of the skillet, and poured in the beaten eggs, scraping the bowl with a wide, plastic spatula. I re-covered the skillet loosely. The grits were cooked so I removed them from the microwave and stirred well so there were no lumps. The eggs cook quickly so I scraped and turned them with a metal spatula to let the remaining liquid eggs flow to the bottom. I turned down the heat to the eggs to avoid burning them. I uncovered the large skillet, turned the potatoes one last time, and shaped them into a circle about 2 layers deep. I left the cover off and turned up the heat slightly--this was the final browning and drying phase.

Everything was coming together. All temperatures should be correct. I wish I could turn out everything onto a serving plate at once. Since that wasn't possible, I had to think about the order in which I put the components of the meal onto my plate. Grits seemed like the natural last to go since they were probably the hottest. Here again I don't remember my decision so the dilemma will be preserved for future breakfasts. I know I did decide to pour my juice first even though I was aware that it would be getting warmer during the time it took to put the food on the plate.

And you know, I hate putting cold ketchup from the refrigerator onto nice, hot hash browns. I tried warming the ketchup in the microwave but it popped and splattered from the get-go.

So, that was my OCD breakfast. What a complicated process! So much to consider... no pat answers!

I don't see my approach to breakfast as a problem--I see it as a feature. I know I have a borderline clinical obsession with details. Believe it or not, that's actually a plus when I'm dealing with a logical challenge. It's always helped me in my career as a programmer, technical writer, and systems analyst. Where it doesn't help is in the artistic realm--playing guitar, for example. Where do I place my thumb... exactly... for any chord or note that I might play? How deeply should my pick dig into the strings? How do I hold my pick?? I'm like a centipede trying to figure out how to walk.

That's it. You're free to go now.